Friday, February 1, 2008

The Cure for Aerkitharaphobia

i'm absolutely phobic of watching grown men playing air guitar. seriously, i have to cover my eyes like a prepubescent kid watching porn when i even think someone is about to indulge. i don't understand it, and my torso sears with hot embarrassment when i see someone in the crux of their alcohol induced "performance". i'm convinced there should be some modification made to the 2008 DSM to include Aerkitharaphobia.

[cut to]

i was having a fuck all week. everything made as much sense as a woody allen movie, and i was just shit tired from lack of sleep. my fiancée, in his infinite brilliance and aerkitharaphobic omniscience, brings home Air Guitar Nation, the 2006 vehicle documenting the very first US air guitar championships. i'm not going to summarize or even explain this film here. it's too easy and at the same time, completely impossible. it's genius yet an utterly spellbinding exercise in nonsense. plus, i have a tendency to say too much and would forever be bruised if i ruined the experience for anyone else suffering from this affliction.

i recommend turning it into a drinking game. whenever you feel the word "douchebag" welling up in your throat, take a shot.

No comments: